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by Christine (prev. Hammill) and Anthony Cregan
While writing an article for Marys
Mantle entitled Look at them and love them in November 2006 I had no idea
that six months later I would write a sequel on another love found in
Medjugorje. During the summer of 2006 I
spent eight weeks in Medjugorje and in the last article I shared some of what
impacted me the most, including the reminder that the essence of our lives is
to love, as
St. John
teaches us in the Gospel, Love one another, just as I love you!
In November 2006 I was blessed to attend Fr. Jozo Zovkos talks and
Masses with prayers for healing both in
New York
and
Miami. While saying goodbye to Fr. Jozos
interpreter and friends, Nancy and Patrick Latta,
Nancy reminded me to come home to Medjugorje
soon. She then emphatically challenged
me to bring my father when she said, your father is a man of faith who has
given so much, and Jesus wants to place himself in his heart, bring him to
Medjugorje! My mother had been to
Medjugorje nine times since 1985, and my five sisters have been there as well, yet
my father had never made a pilgrimage to Medjugorje. Although I felt somewhat reluctant, I heeded
the call and acted on it immediately.
Two weeks later, my father and I arrived in Medjugorje on November
30th and in some way it felt like returning home to my host
family, the Tunin Vasilj family. Friday morning, December 1st, I
awoke at
6am to climb
Mount
Krizevac. It was dark and quite cold when I started and
it somehow felt eerie. Although I had
climbed the mountain with the Stations of the Cross in the dark several times
before, this morning it felt different. I was overcome by a feeling of fear and anxiety; it was extremely dark
with no moonlight and it was also quite cold. In addition, as I climbed the mountain alone I heard a rustling in the
leaves and there seemed to be something or someone lurking about. I was reminded of stories of snakes on the
mountain and my imagination went even further than that. I quickly started praying the Rosary and
calling for Marys mantle of protection while I considered abandoning my walk
and returning home. However, I felt
stubborn and persistent and I decided that if there was anything out there to
get me, then it would get me. I
trusted the protection or at least the perfection in what was waiting for me on
the mountain.
By the 13th Station the sun was beginning to peak above
the mountain and was shining the first rays of light onto the bronze placard
and the Cross. Any fear and anxiety
dissipated as the sun began to shine. I
was grateful to be back in Medjugorje and to be on this mountain that I loved. As I reached the Cross, at the top, I enjoyed
the solitude of having the mountain to myself.
Descending the mountain, I met Nancy, Patrick, Gabriel, Maria Louisa,
Svjetlana and their family praying at the 6th Station. We looked at each other and began to laugh,
as it was only two weeks since our goodbyes in
Miami. We shared long embraces and laughed some more. After a few moments,
Nancy excitedly and with an almost drum roll
effect said with all her heart, and this is our Anthony. He and I shook hands and said hello. It wasnt until a few weeks later that I
realized the divine providence in meeting Anthony on
Cross
Mountain
at the 6th Station only hours after I arrived.
Greetings from Anthony as
Ive just skooched over to the computer seat to share with you how I came to
meet Christine. For quite some time I
had been trying to discern where God was calling me to be. Following a retreat conducted by Fr. Jozo
Zovko in Siroki Brieg, near Medjugorje, in October 2005, I decided to take the
bull by the horns, so to speak, and become more active in my discernment
process. Whilst receiving guidance from
a friend, Rev. Fr. Gerry, back home in
County
Donegal,
Ireland,
I felt a need to take some time away from the normal routine so that I could
listen more carefully to the Holy Spirit. A couple of months later I received
an email from Catherine, who had also been on Fr. Jozos retreat, requesting
help in raising funds to purchase an incubator and ventilator for a childrens
hospital. For some reason or another I
thought: yes, I could do a sponsored cycle from Donegal to Medjugorje in the
hope of raising the money needed for the two machines and it would also give me
the time I needed to be alone with God.
By
the time I had tidied up all loose ends at work and tried to arrange some
fundraising, it was
September
1st, 2006 when I set off on my bicycle. Before I left, I asked Jesus to teach me to love,
as He would want me to love. When I said
this little prayer, I thought that I would either be joining a religious order
or entering a seminary. Little did I
know the surprise God had awaiting me in Medjugorje. Seven short weeks later on October 22nd,
I arrived in Medjugorje and stayed with Patrick and Nancy Latta at their home
of Our Lady of the Sacred Heart. I spent
the next ten weeks helping with the daily duties of washing dishes, making beds
and cleaning toilets. As I met different
groups that came through their home, I contemplated to which order of priests
or brothers I would feel drawn. Then on
the morning of December 1st, on
Mt.
Krizevac,
Christine came into my life. From the
first moment we met, I knew there was something special about her. We instantly became friends, yet I did my
best to ignore any other feelings as I thought God wanted me to spend my life
in a religious order.
Yes, Anthony and I were fast friends as he is a kind and gentle
person, easy to be with and he always makes me laugh. We spent time as a family with Nancy and
Patrick, who graciously opened their hearts to my father and me. I had planned to depart with my father after
two weeks and return to
New York
for Christmas. Yet I also felt a pull to
stay in Medjugorje for Christmas and New Year and my mother encouraged me to stay. After seeing my father off at the airport and
changing my airline ticket until January 7th, I questioned why I was
spending the holidays alone with my Medjugorje family and new friends. I had lived abroad for seven years and always
returned to New York for Christmas, while now I lived in New York and was
spending Christmas in Medjugorje by myself. It didnt make much sense, yet I am immensely grateful for that gift.
On Thursday, December 14th,
I began a three-day fast in conjunction with attending
6 a.m. Mass in a novena leading up to Christmas
with the local community. During the
three days while praying at the foot of the Cross on the top of
Mt.
Krizevac,
I embraced Christ in a new way, with unrestrained love. I felt this genuine longing to reach out and
give Jesus a big hug with love and gratitude like embracing my beloved family,
or a friend, or a small child; a hug without a barrier. I felt this longing without constraints and
without judging myself as being strange or odd to want to have a personal embrace
with Christ as I leaned over and kissed the Cross. Yesterday during Adoration I realized that
for me Jesus always had a more calming and gentle persona, and one not likely
to give big hugs. Yet it occurred to me
that this is reflective of who I am and how I am with Him. If I give Him a hug I will receive a hug, if
I sit quietly next to Him, I will receive His quiet calming support.
During my three-day fast in Medjugorje, as I began embracing Christ in
a new way it was no coincidence that I also began to see Anthony differently. We had immediately been friends and spent
time with our mutual family, yet something seemed different this week. On Friday morning as I reached the top of
Mt.
Krizevac,
I saw him among a few others praying at the foot of the Cross. The only way I can describe it is that it was
as if he was like a character in a pop-up book, where everyone seemed to be in
one dimension and he seemed to be in three-d. It was something I noticed; yet it didnt knock me over. As I stood on top of the mountain Anthony
turned around with a big hello and a hug as he was visibly surprised to see me
he asked where I had come from as it was as if I just appeared. We shared the walk down
Cross
Mountain
talking intimately as friends often share in that intimate and real space of
Medjugorje.
During that evenings Veneration of the Cross, at St. James Church,
I saw Anthony sitting across the Church and I felt pulled to go over and sit
with him, a call to which I didnt heed as I had already been sitting in
another section. The following evening I
arrived late for Adoration and I was looking for a friend, Lane, who offered to
bring my Christmas cards home to the
US and send them. I looked around for Lane, yet didnt find
her, and I saw Anthony sitting alone, and again I felt a pull to sit with
him. I dont often join people during
Adoration, yet without thinking much I let the pull lead me and I sat down beside
Anthony. During Adoration I felt the
pain of love tugging at my heart and it felt somehow connected to this man,
which felt strange as I didnt know him that well. I say the pain of love because it was more
like a pain felt when one loses someone they love and I didnt know why I felt
that way, but I seemed to notice the strange feeling. Sitting next to Anthony during Adoration that
Saturday night meant something to me, yet I learned only later that it was also
fulfilling a sign for which Anthony had asked. Although this quietly prayerful man was not one to ask for signs, he
went there and asked for it.
I knew I had feelings for Christine,
yet I felt uncertain what, if anything, I was meant to do with them. Eventually on Friday, December 15th,
whilst varnishing the floor of St. Anthonys room in a moment of desperation I
asked God if He could give me a sign as to whether or not he would be happy if
I married Christine. I suggested to Him that if Christine sat down beside me at
Adoration on Saturday evening then I would take that to mean that God would be
happy for me to marry her. Of course no
sooner had the prayer been sent that I wanted to kick myself and take it back
as it seemed terribly unlikely to happen as in the past few weeks she had never
sat beside me. Also, if Christine didnt
sit down beside me on Saturday I might want to try another prayer or seek a
different sign. On Saturday evening,
Gabe and I had been out for a bite to eat before Adoration and by the time we
returned to St. James it was
9:05 PM. I thought that surely Christine would be in
the Church already, and there was no hope of her sitting down beside me. In I went and found a seat. After about ten minutes while praying with my
eyes closed, I felt someone sit down beside me. Although I felt certain that when I opened my eyes I would see a little
old lady, it was Christine. Well, had I
not been kneeling down holding onto the seat, Im sure I would have fallen over
with the shock. I spent the rest of the
time either thanking God for answering my prayer or wondering what I was going
to do next and how was I going to tell Christine how I felt about her?
The following morning, on December 17th, Anthony waited
for me after Sunday Mass and together with Fr. Kevin Devine we went to
Colombos for lunch. Before dinner that evening, Anthony presented
his heart to me, and in one week, on Christmas Eve, I felt a love in my heart
like I had never felt before. I was walking
along the path to the Cross of the Risen Christ and I felt a love so deep, so
new and so endearing. I smiled that it
was only when I had opened my heart to Christ that a loving man, to whom I could lovingly open my heart, walked into my
life. I had felt the pain of love
during that Saturday nights Adoration, and on Christmas Eve I received the
gift of feeling joyful, unbounded, peaceful love in my heart. During a two hour Adoration before
midnight Mass I sat next to Anthony
and felt abundantly joyful to be sharing the moment with him. By New Years Eve, although everything had
gone so quickly, I felt overjoyed to spend the rest of my life with
Anthony. When Anthony asked me to marry
him he presented me with Rosary beads and asked me to say the Rosary with him
every day for the rest of our lives. On
January 3rd, Fr. Kevin Devine celebrated an engagement Mass for us with
the English speaking community in Medjugorje. We are grateful for the blessing of the Mass and the sense of community
we shared in that grace filled place.
We decided to wed in
New
York on Divine Mercy Sunday, a constant reminder to
trust in the love and mercy of God. As
our time spent in Adoration was instrumental in embracing our love of God and
each other, we had a beautiful Medjugorje-style Holy Hour prior to our Wedding
Mass. It was an added blessing to have
Fr. Kevin Devine travel from Medjugorje to be the main celebrant at our
Mass. We are abundantly grateful to Our Lord and Our
Lady for showering their love and graces upon us. Anthony and I continue our daily Rosary and
with gratitude in our hearts we began a monthly prayer group in our home for
the grace of love -- the grace of love of God, love of all persons and love of
each other.
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